| You can see what a kind and
considerate person I am - I'm really trying to help Ed Frawley.
I believe he needs to calm down, because these conflicts just go on and
on forever. Ed has been fighting with so many people, for so many
years, he needs a rest. He deserves a rest.
Sooner or
later, Ed is going to self-destruct. Without proper
care, he might be a casualty of spontaneous combustion - Ed
might burst into flames one day without warning.
The fact is, this isn't
a question of right or wrong. Through the years, Ed
has shown us he's always right and everyone else is wrong.
And this isn't a question of
motivational justification. Ed knows
the appropriate profane words, and he uses them often.
This isn't a question of superficial redemption, simulated
presumption, or a supernatural belief of bewildering
proclivity. (did you get that?)
Let's be perfectly clear about
that issue. Reading it again might help.
Realistically, we all recognize that Ed needs help.
The fact is, that's what this is all about.
It's all about helping
Ed Frawley.
Surely, there is an affordable mental
institution near Ed's location. I'll personally volunteer to get on the internet
and help find one for him.
I don't know how
institutions like this work, but I've already started the
difficult part - I've begun the
research. So far, I've studied prescription drugs
which might help Ed. Look at what I found in only 3
minutes.
|
These are just some of the generic drugs. Right
away, I had to ask for help pronouncing them.
I
discovered the "pam" and "lam"
collection:
bromazepam, clonazepam, diazepam, flunitrazepam,
lorazepam, nitrazepam, oxazepam, temazepam,
triazolam, alprazolam, estazolam,
and
midazolam.
Here comes the "ine"
(rhymes with "clean") group:
chlorpromazine, clemastine, clozapine,
doxylamine, fluphenazine, ketamine, mirtazapine,
olanzapine, perphenazine, prochlorperazine,
quetiapine,
and
trifluoperazine.
These are the
"lone" and "done" (these
rhyme with "phone") assortment, plus some exotic treats:
eszopiclone, methaqualone, trazodone,
ziprasidone, risperidone, phenobarbital, chloral hydrate, chlordiazepoxide, amobarbital, ethchlorvynol,
glutethimide, haloperidol, loxapine,
methyprylon, pentobarbital, ramelteon,
secobarbital,
and
thiothixene.
Some of these
names sound so interesting, I almost want to try
one - just to see what happens.
zaleplon, zolpidem, zopiclone,
and
zuclopentixol.
With names
like these, God only knows what they do to you -
and He may not even be sure!
Can you just imagine
saying, "Excuse me, I have to go take my Zopiclone now. Would you remind me at 2pm to
take my Mirtazapine?"
Or maybe,
"Next week, they're putting me on Nitrazepam.
I heard it can detonate. Gosh, I hope I don't
explode!"
How about,
"Hi, Waitress, I'd like the 100mg Loxapine on a bagel with
cream cheese and a slice of Bermuda onion.
Make that the 200mg, please. Thank you."
Here are some of
the high priced name brands:
Ambien®, Ativan®, Cisordinol®, Clozaril®, Compazine®, Desyrel®, Doriden®, Etrafon®, Geodon®, Halcion®, Haldol®, Imovane®, Ketalar®, Ketaset®, Klonopin®, Largactil®, Lexotan®, Librium®, Loxitane®, Lunesta®, Mogadon®, Navane®, Noludar®, Normison®, Paxil®, Placidyl®, Planum®, Prolixin®, Prosom®, Quaalude®, Remeron®, Restoril®, Risperdal®, Rohypnol®, Rozerem®, Serax®, Seroquel®,
Sonata®, Sopor®, Stelazine®, Temaze®, Tenox®, Thorazine®, Trifluoperaz®, Trilafon®, Valium®,
Versed®, Zimovane®, Zyprexa®
It's like a
pharmaceutical smorgasbord
.... this is just the beginning!
What's
this? Are they M&Ms? No,
they are not M&Ms. I believe this would
probably keep Ed calm for about three days. |
Ed's road to recovery
might begin with confinement and restraints in the rubber
room. I've heard that large doses of Thorazine or
Haldol are
used sometimes as the
calming progression begins.
One of the very first
steps in helping Ed would be to eliminate the stress and
excitement caused by computers, the internet, and phones.
I'm certain Ed's doctors would eliminate any possibility of
Ed using a computer.
How can Ed be calm
with a website full of 47 million members and 357 million webpages?
The fact is, he can't.
A nice, quiet, 48 month
in-patient stay would do wonders to help Ed cope with all his stress and
problems.
He could draw pictures with crayons, eat with safe, non-sharp objects such as
plastic spoons, and go for supervised
walks.
Ed could develop social
skills: group therapy, arts and crafts, and even build
jigsaw puzzles
with the other inmates. Sometimes, he
could sit outside and calmly watch the grass grow. He could
watch the birds and bunny rabbits and
squirrels playing together.
His doctors could carefully regulate his
electro-shock therapy and medications so Ed could recover, and find
happy
tranquility. Ed could learn self-control and anger management, and
soon, he could be a truly wonderful person to one and all.
After he was stabilized, completely rehabilitated, and released, Ed could find a
new
stud dog, and call him "Xanax". He could
find a new bitch, and call her "Valium". Ed
could start all over - a brand new beginning.
Then Ed
could go home to his computer, and rename his entire dog empire
....
CALMBURG™
(click this link)
Imagine it.
I think I've figured
out why Ed has been acting irrational and
erratic. Aggressive and anti-social. Violently
profane. Schizophrenic. I think it's connected to
his dog breeding addiction. Over 350 litters ....
approximately 2500 puppies!
I'm not a licensed
psychiatric specialist, and I could be wrong.
But I could be right
.... what if I am right?
Here's what
I think:
ED
FRAWLEY HAS CHRONIC POST-PARTUM DEPRESSION
combined with ACUTE INSECURITY
PSYCHOSIS
|
