Before the bitching
starts, I'd like to share one of the most astounding PUBLIC messages I've ever
seen. A little background is in order. From the mid-90s until about
2003, I participated in two or three "Hammond Organ message groups". These
groups were populated with a variety of "types" .... from truly knowledgeable
Hammond people, to certifiably insane potheads, to 15 year old, never even PLAYED a Hammond, cranial vacancies.
One of the best was
a wannabe little clown named Dan "Spiffy" Neuman. An absolute nightmare in the IRC
chat channel, "Spiffy" certainly knows HIS stuff! He's
undeniably "hi-tech".
Below is his "solution" to a problem in
RED, and my comment to his insanity in
BLUE.
At 11:43 PM 6/16/2002 -0500, you wrote:
"Bullbarn (Bullfrog Music)" wrote:
> OK - I done did it. Broke a key doing a smear on a PortaB.
Hot glue will solve all your
problems. I once hot glued a key back on in the
middle of a solo. Still caught
all the changes (ok it was a blues so there
were like 3 of them :))
No kidding!
Was that instant hot glue? That .003
second dry time stuff? It must be.
And to be able to play a SOLO .....
AND fix a key ..... AND manipulate the
hot glue gun (which of course, was
sitting right there, heated up, waiting
for the damn key to break) and NOT
EVEN burn your fingers (which, of
course, you planned on the fly, as the
solo progressed) - this is
ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.
But it's what we have come to expect
from our ceiling fan expert - "Spiffy".
Please list members - don't use hot
glue. Spend a couple bucks, buy a
replacement key, and let Spiff-ola
pull his magical tricks.
ROFLMAO.
Steve Leigh
steve at sl-prokeys.com
----
All List Related Links and Descriptions:
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|
| Spiffy - unique
in all the world - very likely has 3 hands. One hand to hold
the broken key in place, one hand to manipulate the hot glue gun, and an
extra hand to play his "solo"! We should all be as technically
inclined as Spiffy! I really
love the inference that the hot glue gun was sitting nearby -
waiting to be used. It's as if the glue gun knew in
advance it would be needed. It probably plugged itself
into an electric outlet.
I just adore fairy tales .... and liars,
too. |
Day after day I speak with
people about Hammonds and Leslies. Musicians, church people, backline
people, recording studio people, homeowners who have a Hammond in
the den.
It seems to be a universal
belief that Hammonds don't need rebuilding or maintenance if they are still
making noise. The fact that the motors spin and sound comes out is - for some people - living proof that all is well in Hammondville.
It's almost impossible to
explain or convince some people how much their Hammond will benefit from a
complete rebuild. I wish it was possible in every instance to place
one of my own B3s and a couple of Leslies right next to theirs, for a
side-by-side, hands on comparison.
The cost involved in a complete
rebuild is the single factor which I hear the most about. Frankly, I think
it's a fair assumption that most Hammonds have cost absolutely nothing to
maintain over the last 30 years or more, for most owners. That
is to say, except for replacing a tube or two, most Hammonds have had no service
work or rebuilding performed on them at all.
In my personal estimation, this
"free ride" can't last forever. Hammonds
are extremely complex electro-mechanical devices, and there are so many areas
which require attention, cleaning, and rebuilding. There's no question of
"if", it's only a question of "when".
Below is the
"ultimate repair procedure" for those Hammonds which the owners decide
to give or throw away.
When someone hears a fully
rebuilt Hammond, and has the opportunity to play it alongside their own, their
reactions are humorously predictable. The sad part about this article is
how many people refuse to set aside the needed cash to take care of the series
of problems which exist.
Instead, they go on playing a
Hammond that sounds like garbage. Somehow they're able to
justify the maintenance-free existence of their Hammond, and expect it to
perform properly, while it's actually degrading daily, right under their
hands. My experiences with this kind of Hammond owner has proven to me
that they typically "yes, yes, yes" you to death, then do nothing at
all to correct it. In other words - they just waste my time. I find this quite frustrating, since I
usually get a call
- invariably at the very last minute - to come and "put a Band-Aid" on
the problem. I try and explain that the organ needs much more than a
"quick fix", and should be treated with reasonable respect. My
words aren't heard, because it would require money to get the Hammond
straightened out properly. Most owners seem to believe a can of Pledge and
a dust rag will take care of everything. I guess I'm bitching here.
It's time for a laugh.
|
POURING YOUR HEART
ALL OVER IT |
|
Showing incredible
finesse and style, it takes a really unique "class player" to turn a
B3 into this, then proudly put a picture of it on his webpage.
If this had been a ProKeys rental,
$1000.00 would have been added to the price for complete manual disassembly, cleaning, and
reassembly. The plug would have been pulled long before it got
this far, and the organ packed up immediately. As the lid was
closed, the player would have had a choice: get the hands away, or get
packed up with the organ. Where I come from, this is known as abuse
and damage.
Also located on that webpage is a rave review that predicts "Booker T. and the MGs
will be quaking in their boots." Best of luck to Patrick Benfield. May
these hallucinations become reality no later than 2190. |
|
Almost time for a blood transfusion! |
